Sunday, August 4, 2013

I want to read ALL THE BOOKS.  That probably doesn't come as a surprise, especially considering that my hobby is blogging about books. But I really don't like it when someone is reading a book that I want to read but haven't yet.

Before you tell me where to stick that green-eyed monster, let me explain.  When someone -- anyone, not just you or other book bloggers...anyone -- is reading a book that I want to read, this is what goes through my head:

  • (Checks schedule.) But, but...that book doesn't come out for months.  I won't get to read it for weeks at least!
  • Please, please, please don't tell me that it's good.  Or bad.  Or mediocre.
By you reading this book early and even hinting at what you thought of it, you've now warped my opinion of the book.  Even without meaning to.  Unfortunately, I am susceptible and easily persuaded.  This is why I've stopped reading reviews for books I haven't read least for books that I'm dying to read.
  • Well, maybe I can squeeze it in now.  I don't have to review it until closer to the release date, right?  I'm sneaky like that...right?
  • Dammit!  Why the hell do I have a reading schedule anyway?!?  I wish I could go back to just reading what I wanted, when I wanted to read it.  Why don't I just do that?  Maybe I should just give up this whole blogging thing while I'm at it.  
  • Wait.  Do I have this book?  I covet this book.  I must get a copy.  I will drive myself crazy until it is in my hands.  Give. It. To. Me.

I realize that all of this inner monologue might make me sound a bit nuts.  So be it.  I usually thrive on organization and a set routine or schedule, but I'm really starting to think being a book blogger is beginning to take a toll on me...and my sanity.  I said I was going to take it down a notch, but I think I may have gotten worse instead of better.

I'm doing fewer tours, which has helped significantly with my stress level, but now I'm reading more.  Not that I'm complaining.  But reading more means having more to review.  I feel like I only read and review about half of what I request, which makes me sad, and I feel a bit irresponsible because of it.  I know the solution is to stop requesting so many books, but I'm always worried that one of those I skipped over will be the next big thing that everyone's talking about, and then I'll be left out.  Being left out of the loop is the worst.  Like I said...I don't like it when you've read a book that I haven't.  Because then I can't discuss it with you and be a part of the hooplah surrounding it.  And that's one of my favorite parts of blogging. Finding that one book and getting super-fired up about it.

I remember what it was like before I was a book blogger and didn't have access to advance copies.  That was ten times worse than this...seeing people with ARCs of books that weren't coming out for another six months and stalking their updates and the author's website for teasers.  But I was free to read whatever, whenever.  I miss that.  Though, technically, I suppose that really hasn't changed.  The pressure I feel all comes from within.  I've always done this to myself.  Even in school...when I was vying for valedictorian, I nearly gave myself an ulcer.

So.  Maybe the solution isn't merely to stop requesting review copies.  Maybe it would be best to rip up that old review schedule altogether.

Even so, I don't think I could ever do it...but I have been allowing my mood to pick my next read for the last couple of weeks, and it's really worked out.  I am riding cloud nine on a book high right now after my last four or five reads.  But there are other review books on my schedule that I am less than excited for.  And because I requested them at some point, I'll end up reading them by their release date.  *sigh*

I am a creature of habit. And this is what I know.


  1. Oh my, you literally have me all stressed out!! LOL I'm just like you in so many ways... I can actually feel your anxiety! I encounter the same struggles regularly. I've become much more lax about reviews this year. Though I'm still behind and have more books than I can possibly review in time, I just do my best. I'm in the middle of moving to WordPress, and THAT has me totally freaked out. But I'm hoping the amount of time I can save in my reviewing process I will hopefully be able to use to read more. :D Silly high hopes... ;) As for wanting books you don't have or can't read yet... Right there with ya!! Publishers refuse to acknowledge my existence, so I encounter that daily. Not much I can do about it. But as you know, I never read reviews of books I'm going to be reading myself in the near future. Then I just sit as patiently as I can until the book is released. :P

  2. I know I am barely getting to some books that bloggers were going crazy over years ago. There are just so many things I want to read! But lately I have been just scrolling through my kindle and reading whatever I want. But even though I read whatever I want I still can't read 2,000 books at once and that is how many books I have that I want to read!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

  3. I know I probably say this with every post you have so forgive me, but LOVE THIS. I agreed with every bullet point of your inner monologue and laughed at every gif (the last one pertains to me so well). Know that you are not alone in your "crazy" inner monologue, I AM WITH YOU. Okay, I was going to say that since you aren't alone it's not crazy...but let's face it, I'm crazy. So yes, it probably is crazy (excuse me if my rambling doesn't make sense, I'm on a peanut butter high). Anyways, AGREED. The little green monster is so complicated in this area and it feels horrible, but at the same time not like the normal jealousy. Being a lover of books and a blogger is so complicated with the emotions.

  4. I know what you mean. I am guilty on both parts--coveting books, being upset when I'm not reading it, and talking about my opinion when other's haven't read. I don't read reviews for books I've not read yet...I even barely read summaries anymore. I like to dive in with no knowledge but you can't help see the buzz and sometimes that hurts. I relate to this post so much because I feel like my reading is so scheduled at times. But, when I feel like that I drop everything and pick something I want to read...because I'm the boss :-) The problem with blogging and books--there are always more! It never ends! So many books are out there and like you I want to read them ALL.

    My Friends Are Fiction

  5. Hah this was a great post. I totally love the gif choices. I definitely can sympathize when it comes to reading schedule. I've tried mixing stuff I want to read with stuff I need to read and that certainly seems to help.

  6. Love this post. It definitely voices my thoughts, although I'm not as focused as you are. It's kind of a trade-off, book blogging. You get to read ARCs and talk to people about books but it takes over your real life. I don't really get too jealous of someone with a book I don't have unless I requested it and was declined.

    Alise @ Readers in Wonderland

  7. You are a hot mess girl. ;)

    I don't read reviews of this I know I want to read, but I do sometimes skim to see overall impression so I can comment on my fave blogs.

    But I threw away my ARC req hat a long time ago. I do still get some from indie authors that I've developed a relationship with. I can't keep up with the book rat race. I can't do deadlines. NetGalleys...the threat of them disappearing off my nook was like a ticking time bomb. I don't need that kind of stress. My family was coming in 3rd behind work & blog. No bueno.

  8. I'm totally feeling this. I was trying to follow a review schedule ... and I'm behind on it because I let my mood choose the book. But like you, I also feel happier that way. It's almost impossible to be on top of all the books at all times and it's impossible to catch every bestseller and the next thing and all that jazz, but we try, and I'm not sure there is one solution. It's not as simple as not requesting the books nor is it as simple as letting your mood decide, 'cause look we're both behind haha. Maybe you could skim through the beginning of some of the other review books and if you're not feeling them, give them away? Might help with the pile.

  9. I love this post. Before I discovered the wonderful world of NG and EW and blogging I always felt so jealous of my friends on Goodreads who were reading the books I was dying to get my hands on. Even now, when I have literally hundreds of choices waiting for me on my Kindle and on my shelves, I still get the green-eyed monster feeling whenever somebody is reading something I haven't been able to get my hands on yet. My eyes are definitely bigger than my...well, eyes, I guess. I don't have even close to enough time to read all of the books I request, but I just can't help myself.

    Over the past couple of months I've gotten a bit better. I've stopped requesting anything that doesn't sound like something I'd love--mostly dystopians. I always think the synopses sound interesting, but I'm rarely ever in the mood to read them.

    I've stopped reading reviews that are in my TBR pile, too. I don't want my opinion to by swayed nor do I want my review to be influenced.

    I have been trying to read what I want...within reason. I've been sticking to books that come out within the next 3-4 weeks (even when the one I really want to read doesn't come out for months). I've also been trying to catch up on already published books from the library.

    Great post! You are so not alone.

  10. LOVE LOVE this post, and YES. I feel this way! Even if I have a copy of the book, I start to get panicky because I haven't read it yet. I am such a moody reader and do best when I can pick up whatever book is calling to me loudest at the moment. (I want to hear about your reading schedule! I tried to be organized after BEA and read in order of release, but I soon gave that up!). It's even harder when it's a book that everyone else seems to have BUT ME!! Then I get needy. However, I need to just chill out about that, because I'm going to get to read it sometime. Anyway, a really thoughtful look at something we all deal with.

  11. This is all my thoughts Jen, all my thoughts! I see people reading ARCs for books I cannot wait to read but gah, I don't have the time to fit it in until closer to release! I swear the book will then STARE at me from the shelf. That is IF I even have it! I also feel like I HAVE to read anything I request. It's just something that nags at me personally and I try to resist and not request so many but... it's so hard! And other people will review it and even though I skim reviews for books I haven't read and really want to, some things get spoiled. This is why I held off on Unravel Me for so long. I know everyone loves Warner now but when those first reviews came in, I was devastated and grumpy for even knowing about it. This is why I'm totally cool with the last book in a series not having ARCs. I want to know NOTHING. It worked wonderfully for Clockwork Princess. And even Boundless because those ARCs came out right before release. I am trying to just relax and appreciate what ARCs I do have, but there are always those I desperately want and when I see others with it... the green eyes monster appears! lol

  12. This is a great post - I was exactly like this until I decided to read what I wanted, when I wanted, depending on my mood. Now I've never felt better about blogging =)


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