The Way of the Dodo

Have you ever checked out the reviews on Goodreads for an older, backlist title and ran across old blogger friends' reviews and thought, "Hmm...I haven't seen them around in ages. I wonder what they're up to or if they're even still blogging..." This actually happens to me pretty frequently now, and not only because I'm a lame, out-of-touch blogger. Though, I'm sure that's partly to blame.

You see those posts all the time about how a blogger is feeling less than motivated to keep posting, as if they're not being heard and it's all pointless. I know I've posted about those feelings from time-to-time. But then there are those who actually just give up blogging altogether, never to be heard from again...even on Goodreads.

I've contemplated only reviewing on Goodreads and just posting discussions and promotional stuff here. I honestly think they get more attention over there and are just more visible than they are here in my little corner of the blogosphere. It also seems that more people have taken to Bookstagram and Booktube, in lieu of traditional blogging, and it does tend to make me wonder, "Why bother?" Especially when you discover that some of those people are getting paid for their contributions.

I see nothing wrong with that. At all. We put a lot of time and effort and even our own money into this "hobby" and it would be nice to be fairly compensated for that, especially when we're promoting on behalf of a publisher or author. I honestly don't get those who think being paid for this would be a bad thing, that the early reader copies are compensation enough. If I could at least make a part-time job out of this, I'd definitely be more inclined to keep doing it.

But I digress. This wasn't supposed to be a post about getting paid. It's about missing the good ole days. About knowing the people you're blogging beside and remembering our fallen friends, those whose other priorities meant they had to leave the community. It's about being stressed and wondering at what point you just throw in the towel.

If I were witty and clever, I'd sing about the disappearance of bloggers to the tune of "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?", but you really don't want to hear my singing voice and the song is stuck in my head now anyways.

So. Do you think traditional book bloggers are on the edge of extinction? Have you lost any friends to the abyss? Are you considering a departure in the near future, or do you plan on hanging on till the bitter end?

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Labels: blogging, blogging breaks, blogging community, blogging confessions, discussion

That Time My Husband Asked Me If I Was In the Middle of a Book...

So, my husband asks, "Are you in the middle of a book?" at dinner the other night. I'm pretty sure he was trying to gauge whether he'd be able to get back to playing Destiny or if I was going to call family time. I just stared at him because, I mean, what kind of question is that? When am I not in the middle of a book? He should know this by now. The rest of our conversation goes like this:

I give him the look that tells him what I've been thinking and respond, "Yes. Well...technically, I'm 80% in, so...closer to the end than the middle. Why?"

"Just wondering." And he goes back to eating his dinner. Subject dropped.

"Seriously, why?" I ask because he rarely makes such a query.

"Seriously, no reason."

But I didn't want to let it drop. I don't know why. Maybe because I'd just recently had a conversation with my younger sister about just this thing: how he always wants to talk about his hobby (hunting) and get me interested in it, but he hardly ever extends the same courtesy. Any time I say "book" or "reading" I can almost literally see his mind's eye lose focus. I understand...his hobby of choice does that to me sometimes, too, but that's why we should make the effort, right? I mean, it's fine to have your own thing. I love having reading as my own thing.

But sometimes, I want to talk bookish stuff with someone face-to-face. I don't really have anyone in my real life who's as gaga for books as I am. My older sister reads a lot of fantasy and comes to me for recommendations, but she lives over three hours away, so talking about those books becomes an online thing, not IRL. My younger sister enjoys reading, too, but she's busy and reads much slower than I do, so it's literally months before she's able to discuss a book with me. Which is a shame because we work together and I see her face on the daily and could talk to it all the time about books. I understand, though, I really do. And my other friends are all busy adulting or whatever, and if by chance they do read, it's erotica or memoirs or something else I'm not interested in.

And that's why I've always been glad to have this community. Maybe I can't see all of your beautiful faces, but at least I can have honest, gushy conversations with you all about books that I love, too. When I come out of my shell. I am such an introvert, you guys. I still feel like the new kid here, even though I've been blogging for just shy of four years. It's seriously so hard for me to insert myself in a conversation on Twitter, too. I've had a Twitter handle since 2009, before I even started blogging, and yet I only just reached 10k tweets. I have moments where I forget myself and have a nice chat with someone -- wine is usually involved -- but those instances are far and few between. Even so, I'm grateful for each and every one of you who does take the time to talk to me, despite my awkward. I wouldn't still be here if it weren't for you.

Well...and April. I've considered quitting blogging more than once but hardly at all now that April is here. She just has such an awesome approach to blogging: no stress, she posts what she wants, and she doesn't get wrapped up in all of the drama. I never comment on that stuff, but it weighs me down nonetheless. Not April. It's not that she doesn't care; she just lets it slide right off of her. I aspire to be more like April. Her family always, always comes first. (Not that mine doesn't -- I'm going to Disney World instead of BEA, for crying out loud -- but I'll freely admit that when in the middle of a good book, I would much rather finish that than spend my time in some of the ways that my family has imagined for me.) She has never shown me one ounce, not one iota of ARC envy. And she never lets a "reading schedule" stress her out. It just is what it is with her.

I strive to be more like that. And I'm getting better at it, under April's tutelage. It's just so wonderful to still have people like her in the community, ya know? Especially with the way things have been recently.

There wasn't really a point to this post. It's just that my husband got me thinking the other night, as has so much of the drama in the community as of late, and basically I just wanted to say that I still love being a part of this group. I haven't been around as much as I'd like, haven't been leaving comments, like, AT ALL in the last few months, but if we're friends and I follow your blog, know that I'm reading all of your content. I just haven't had much time to actually respond to all of your wonderful posts, what with being a full-time working mom and trying to maintain our blog here, plus get some reading done in between.

But I need you guys. My husband's been making more of an effort ever since that conversation, but he just does not get my enthusiasm for books like y'all do. That's probably true for a lot of us, and that's why we're all here, right?

So...anyone read any good books lately? =)

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Labels: blogging community, co-blogging, discussion

Thoughtful Thursdays: Feeling Antisocial

**WARNING -- This post comes with a lot of whining...and not the good kind. **
***Also, there will be rambling.***

Lately, I've just been feeling a little antisocial.  I'm an introvert by nature, but it's gotten worse since the beginning of summer.  I can't really pinpoint what exactly triggered it, but I'm sure it has a lot to do with stress.  Work's been sucking a$$.  Like, I just cannot get motivated to care about my job at all.  I've been with the company for, well...March will be ten years, and I am so burnt out.  But I have a kid in school and we're trying to buy a house within the next year, and so now is so not the time for a career change.

And so I read to escape that stress and anxiety.  But that whole antisocial thing because I'm stressed out at work is now carrying over into my blogging world.  I want to visit everyone and comment and discuss books like usual, but I'm finding it difficult to interact with anybody these days.  In real life or in the blogosphere.  And I feel terrible about it...I owe so many of you some comment love!  And I know that you guys will have my back and understand.  I don't think I've lost any of you because of my self-imposed hermitage

Guys, I've been such a lurker lately.  I've been reading all of your wonderful posts and delighting in your comments here on my own blog, but I've just kind of been lurking in the background, not saying anything or doing anything to make it better.  I've just been so blah lately.  All I want to do is read...even the desire to write anything substantial has kind of waned, though I hope that urge hits me again soon because it's one of the few things that usually gets me out of a funk like this.  Well, besides a terrific reading streak.  Which I am not having, though I have read some fairly good books recently.  Or a really, really solid cry.  I think I'm about due for one of those.

Anyway, I want to come back is what I'm saying.  I want to catch up on everything you guys have been doing, see what's been going on in your lives.  Stop feeling sorry for myself and stop being such a shut in. I've always been a bit of a loner, at least until I started blogging and met all of you wonderful people.  And I want to repay you all for the friendship.  But I'm afraid I still don't have enough time to go back and catch every post I've missed.  :(  I'm going to try very hard to devote Saturday to visiting everyone.

But this whole experience has made me wonder, how do those bigger blogs do it?  They must get tons and tons of comments each day.  How do they respond to everyone, visit all of their own favorites, create new content AND still have time to read each day?  I just can't fathom it.  It's daunting to me when I just have a piddly 15 comments (not that I'm not appreciative of each and every single one...I totally am!) on a meme post that I need to return the favor for.  Used to, I had time during the day at work to do so, but my workload is kind of crazy right now, so it just keeps snowballing and I keep getting further and further behind.

I think I'll make this one of my blogging resolutions for 2014:  be a better blogging friend.  For every comment I get, I will return a comment.  I've always felt that's the way it should be, anyway, but well, life happens.  I've blogged about this before (earlier this summer, actually) and it seemed like maybe we all go through spells like this.  But you know it always helps to hear from others sometimes.  :)  Oh, and don't even get me started on all of the blogs I follow via Bloglovin' that I haven't visited in weeks.  I finally just started deleting that daily email until I could get caught up again.  Like I said, hopefully this Saturday...it's supposed to be rainy and we're going to the State Fair on Friday, so I'll probably be worn out from that and too tired to do anything else, anyway.  :D

Pretty much, this is a usual case of Jen putting too much pressure on Jen, of me being the perfectionist that I am.  I hate not doing something 100%, and it makes me like this.  Grrr!  But acceptance is the first step to recovery, right?  And, hey, if you guys do want to hold it against me, well....I can take it...


Hehe.  Sorry for the ramble.  I hate re-reading one of these posts and seeing just how much I rambled.  I did warn you at the beginning, though.  I don't know if this made a lot of sense, but I definitely feel better having gotten it off my chest.

You ever feel like this?  Do people frequently say, "Oh, it's just the weather that's got you down"?  Do you ever just say, "Screw everyone," and do your own thing for a little while?  If so, do you feel guilty about it later?  'Cause I do.  :(

Ever your antisocial basket-case,

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Labels: blogging community, blogging goals, book bloggers, thoughtful thursdays

Thoughtful Thursdays: Judging a Bibliophile by Their Book Covers...Among Other Things

First off, I just want to say that I just love the book blogging community...how we come together in support of each other and the books and authors we adore.  

And we also fight together when the situation warrants, which is more often than it should be.

That said, sometimes I think we can be a bit judgmental of each other, even a little harsh at times.  

There's the trolling of reviews (on blogs and on Goodreads -- especially Goodreads).  Someone will post a dissenting opinion on a book, and of course, someone else disagrees.  That's fine...no two people will share the exact same opinion.  That's what this community is about, after all:  finding those who share your likes and dislikes when it comes to genres, authors and all things bookish.  And it's fine to share your reaction, even if it's the opposite of the rest of reviewers.  It would just be nice if everyone could do so in a way that doesn't promote such negativity.  Don't get me wrong, I love snarky and gif-tastic reviews as much as the next girl, but even those can go too far at times.  As can the comments on them.

There are also those people who judge you solely on what you're currently reading or what you've read in the past.  This type of assessment probably bothers me most because I've read a lot of YA novels that I probably wouldn't give a second glance now, but I wouldn't hold it against anyone else if they still enjoyed them then or continue to do so in the future.  (But I still wish I hadn't rated them so highly.  *sigh*  That's a conversation for another day, though.)  Hell, I still like a lot of books that others don't.  You can't please everyone, am I right?

What prompted this whole rant was a post recently on Twitter from someone who proclaimed that they wouldn't accept friend requests on Goodreads from anyone who's average rating was 4 stars or higher.  This was weeks ago, but it still bothers me to this day, so I felt the need to discuss.

I mean, my average rating is 4.08 stars.  And I feel like I'm probably in the norm, but I didn't do any checking to find out.  I honestly don't care where my average rating fits in the scheme of things.  Because, the fact of the matter is, I like to enjoy what I'm reading.  I try not to pick books that I likely won't find entertaining and will therefore rate lower.  It's a waste of my time to read something that's going to bring out the snark in me.  If it makes me all snarktastic, I'm more likely to simply DNF it rather than rate it really low. In fact, I rarely ever rate below three stars because if I've found a book worthy of a lower rating, I'm not going to finish it.  But that rarely happens because I know what I like.

I don't know...that post just irked me, and I needed to vent.  What are your thoughts?  Do you tend to not friend people because of what they choose to read and how they rate their books?  Or are you an equal-opportunity friender?

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Labels: blogging community, judging a book by its cover, thoughtful thursdays