***The Starry-Eyed Revue***: wtf

Disclosure:

These are my thoughts on a ridiculous erotica book, so if you are squeamish about adult subjects, please read no further.

Title: Taken By The Toaster
Author: Dick Thumper
Series: I hope not!
Publisher: Get Out of My House Publishing
Publication Date: February 14th, 2015
Source: Purchased
Purchase: Amazon

You'll never look at your toaster the same way again... John unwraps his present on Christmas day to see that his parents have bought him a toaster. But this isn't just any toaster...this toaster accepts WIDE slices.

John's insatiable lust for his kitchen appliance comes to a ~~bread~~ head when he finally satisfies his desires of being Taken By The Toaster and the two engage in a steamy bout of "Setting 1" love-making.

The Reviews Are Already In!
"Honey, this is the strangest thing you've ever written." Mother.

"When are you moving out again?" Father

Critics are calling it "Shit," but who ever listened to a critic? Look Inside and gird your loins. You're in for a wild ride.

So when I saw a link shared to this book, I just had to have it. You see, back when the whole Dinosaur Erotica stuff (I poke fun at it here) went viral, my friend Amanda and I joked around about making money ourselves by writing toaster erotica.

Then she comes across this!!!! It's real!!! people doing appliances. lol

Have you ever looked inside a toaster?

Now imagine pumping your penis in and out of that sucker, with the lever pushed down! OUCH!!!!! I don't even have a penis, but I can only guess that it looked like ground hamburger when he was done.

Clearly this whole novella was a joke. The main character is a total tool. Lives in his parents basement. A complete asshole with a tiny dick, according to the story.

I just can't even! lol. I laughed my ass off reading this garbage.

Really there isn't much to say about Taken By The Toaster. It's extremely short, but mildly entertaining. I found this shirt logo in my internet travels. It really says it all.. lol. The shirt can be purchased HERE. I feel like I need to buy it now.