Thoughtful Thursdays: Changes

For some reason, I've had David Bowie on the brain lately.  Maybe because I've decided it's time for a change.  Or a lot of them.  You may have noticed the blog got a face-lift, for which I will forever be grateful to the awesome Stephanie at Hopeless Romantics.  And, yeah, more changes are on the horizon.  I have to do something to get out of this slump I'm in.







For your viewing/listening pleasure:



This is me...to myself:

I put so much pressure on myself to post often, to post daily, and to post the best damn content I can.  I think I do alright.  If I didn't have a real job, I could do better.  =)  But it doesn't look like I'm going to win the lottery any time soon, so I'll have to make do with the time I've been given.  Which also has to be split with reading.  Oh, and the family.  And they demand a LOT of time, not that I'm blaming them. I love them and I want to treasure the precious years I have with my daughter while she's still little.






I feel like I'm always under pressure to read, to post, to meet deadlines.  And no one's really putting that pressure on me but myself.  There's like a six-week window for reviews of new releases, and yet I feel the need to always post those reviews prior to a book's release.  And I feel responsible for reading and reviewing every title I request or receive from publishers.  I have sixty books on the schedule right now through the end of April.  o_O



And that would totally be doable, if I didn't feel the compulsion to read books NOT on that list.  I have become such a mood reader these days, and yet, I don't allow myself to stray much from the schedule.  My friend Christina at Christina Reads YA has been urging me to give into the moods, though.  And those few times that I have, I ended up having a truly awesome reading streak.  I just read a book not scheduled on the list for a few weeks, and it was kind of a wake-up call.  The one I desperately needed.  I try and try to keep up with other bloggers and read what's scheduled so that my review goes up close to when everyone else's does, but I'm tired of feeling rushed, tired of the pressure that I put upon myself.  And to the schedule, I say NO MORE.



I'll keep the schedule to help me keep track of what's releasing and when and where I got it from -- and also just 'cause I'm a nut like that and love the organization it provides -- but I'm not going to force myself to adhere to it anymore.  I know I've said that before, and I meant it when I said it, but that old familiar guilt always creeps back in.  This time, though, I can't let it.  I've got to prove it to myself -- and to my family -- that I do still have a life outside of reading and blogging.

I'm not saying that I won't still be posting daily or that I won't still be reading.  I most definitely will.  But I'll probably spend less time reading -  and definitely less time reading things I don't feel like reading -- and I'll hopefully rearrange things so that I can get all of my posts scheduled once a week so that I'm not spending so much time in the evenings working on the blog.  And hopefully I'll have more time to visit you guys when all this is said and done.  =)


Just curious...does anyone else suffer that same guilt, that same need to review all the books?  I mean, I requested it...I'm supposed to review it.  But I don't think it's fair to the author or the book to read it when I'm not in the mood for it.  I'm more likely to be apathetic and probably rate it lower than I normally would if I didn't feel like I was being forced to read it.

Also, what's up with books with similar themes and premises releasing so close together?  I don't want to read three similar books in a row based on their release dates and then have to try not to compare them when I'm reading and reviewing.  I like to mix it up.

Okay, I'm rambling now.  I just needed to decompress.  Also, this was an excellent reason to bring out the David Bowie.  (I warned you that this would be a really David Bowie-heavy post, didn't I?  And now I just want to go watch Labyrinth.  =)  That movie's almost as old as me, but it's timeless, as is Bowie's music.  :D)

Happy reading!

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Labels: blogging goals, changes, thoughtful thursdays, updates